In an attempt to give you alcohol poisoning, the following is a set of rules for a Toddlers and Tiaras drinking game. It was devised sometime between this past Christmas and New Year's by Becky, Jessie, and myself.

… I encourage you to sip your drinks.

The rules are when the phenomenon is spotted, you have to call out the below bullet point and drink.

• "Something sexual!" – One of the child contestants portrayed in an inappropriately sensual or sexual manner.
• "Fat relative!" – A relative of the child whose body health is of secondary concern to pageantry.
• "She's gonna win!" – A relative of the child being interviewed remarking that the child will undoubtedly emerge victorious.
• "Temper tantrum!" – A child contestant expressing anger or rebellion by screaming, crying, throwing a hissy fit, or otherwise misbehaving.
• "Has-been!" – A relative who used to be in pageants.
• "Troll Photo!" – Heavily doctored photos of a contestant which make them appear freakish or ewok-like.

I am totally not responsible for anyone's hospitalization.