doublecompile's picture

The Onion describes the iPhone's most highly anticipated features.

In the same vein, I thought I would list some of my own:

  • Automatically calls the nearest Starbucks to pre-order your usual grande that's French or something
  • Comes defaultly subscribed to RSS notifications of the JCrew and American Eagle catalogs
  • One-button process to turn you completely jet black while listening to music
  • Preloaded with iAmbetterthanyou, an application to keep track of your reasons for superiority over the pedestrian PC user
  • Produces your own personal RDF at one-tenth the intensity of Steve Jobs'
  • Routinely schedules your Volkswagen for dealership maintenance

Any others?


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